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Is Having a Crush a Sin? Morality Explored.

Seek Wise and Godly Counsel

Being attracted to someone is a natural feeling that many of us experience. But when it comes to matters of faith and morality, questions arise. Is having a crush a sin? Is it wrong to feel a romantic attraction towards someone? These are important questions to consider, especially from a biblical perspective and Christian view.

In order to understand whether having a crush is a sin, we need to distinguish between a simple attraction and lustful desires. While being attracted to someone is not inherently sinful, it is what we do with those attractions that matters. God values inner character and desires for us to consider the faith and character of the person we are attracted to.

It is important for Christians to approach romantic interests with the intention of finding a future spouse. This means prioritizing the inner qualities and spiritual values of the person we are attracted to. It also means avoiding infatuation, which is fueled by sexual lust and focuses solely on physical attraction.

By understanding the differences between attraction and lust, and prioritizing the other person’s best interests, we can navigate the complexities of romantic feelings while honoring God’s principles.

Key Takeaways:

  • Having a crush is not a sin in itself but what we do with those feelings can determine whether it becomes lustful or not.
  • God values inner character and desires for us to consider the faith and character of the person we are attracted to.
  • Infatuation, fueled by sexual lust, is not godly love.
  • It’s important to distinguish between attraction and lust and prioritize serving the other person’s best interests.
  • When considering a romantic interest, it’s important to evaluate whether they align with godly values and strengthen our relationship with Christ.

God’s View of Relationships

When it comes to relationships, God’s perspective is centered on the character and innermost being of individuals. As Christians, it is crucial for us to evaluate whether our romantic interests align with godly values and strengthen our relationship with Christ. This involves considering their commitment to Jesus, their willingness to grow in faith, and the presence of fruits of the Spirit in their life.

Godly love is characterized by commitment and selflessness, going beyond mere emotions and personal desires. It is built on a foundation of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – the fruits of the Spirit that God desires to cultivate in our lives. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we learn that love is patient, kind, and not self-seeking. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”

Infatuation, on the other hand, is driven by emotions and personal desires. It lacks the commitment and selflessness that characterize godly love. While infatuation may produce intense feelings, it often fades away quickly and can be harmful if not guided by godly principles.

In our pursuit of relationships, it is important to seek individuals who not only ignite our passions but also embody the qualities that God values. When we focus on character, commitment, and the presence of the fruits of the Spirit, we can navigate relationships in a way that honors God and leads to healthy and fulfilling connections.

Note: The image above captures the essence of God’s view of relationships, emphasizing love, commitment, and the presence of the fruits of the Spirit.

Is it Infatuation?

Infatuation is a powerful emotion that can consume our thoughts and feelings. It is characterized by intense passion and admiration for someone, often leading to a temporary obsession. However, it is important to recognize that infatuation is different from genuine love.

When we have a crush on someone, it is common to experience lustful thoughts and fantasies. These thoughts can cloud our judgment and lead us to make impulsive decisions. It is crucial to understand that acting on these lustful thoughts can have negative consequences and can harm both ourselves and the other person involved.

A biblical example that demonstrates the destructive nature of infatuation rooted in sexual lust is the story of Amnon and Tamar (2 Samuel 13). Amnon, driven by his infatuation for Tamar, ultimately violated her, causing great pain and suffering. This tragic example serves as a reminder of the consequences of allowing infatuation and lustful desires to control our actions.

“But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, ‘Why are you, the king’s son, so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?’ Amnon said to him, ‘I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.’ Jonadab said to him, ‘Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, “Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.”‘”

It is evident from this biblical account that Amnon’s infatuation with Tamar was driven by his sexual lust rather than genuine love. His actions were selfish and disrespectful, causing irreparable harm to both Tamar and their family.

As Christians, it is essential to differentiate between infatuation and true love. Genuine love, rooted in godly principles, focuses on the well-being and character of the other person. It seeks to honor them, serve them, and consider their best interests. Infatuation, on the other hand, is often self-centered and driven by personal desires.

In summary, infatuation is intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone, often accompanied by lustful thoughts. The story of Amnon and Tamar serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting the destructive nature of infatuation rooted in sexual lust. As Christians, let us prioritize love that is godly, selfless, and respectful, seeking to honor God and the well-being of others.

Godly Love vs. Infatuation

In relationships, the distinction between godly love and infatuation is paramount. Godly love is characterized by commitment, patience, and the development of the fruits of the Spirit. It goes beyond surface-level emotions and personal desires, seeking to honor and serve the other person selflessly. This type of love puts the needs of the other above our own, focusing on their well-being and growth.

On the other hand, infatuation is driven by intense emotions and impatience. It is centered around satisfying personal desires and often leads to self-centeredness. Infatuation may be fueled by physical attraction, but it lacks the deeper connection that comes with godly love. It is based on shallow infatuation and can result in harmful behaviors.

Godly love is built on commitment and seeks to develop the fruits of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These qualities are foundational in sustaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Patience, in particular, plays a crucial role in cultivating godly love. It allows us to grow and mature together, understanding that love takes time and effort.

The fruit of the Spirit visualizes the qualities of godly love. Let’s take a look at how these qualities contrast between godly love and infatuation:

QualitiesGodly LoveInfatuation
LoveUnconditional, sacrificialConditioned, self-serving
JoyDeep contentment, genuine happinessFleeting excitement, temporary satisfaction
PeaceHarmony, tranquilityRestlessness, anxiety
PatienceEndurance, understandingImpatience, quick to give up
KindnessGentleness, empathySelf-centeredness, lack of empathy
GoodnessHonesty, integrityManipulative, deceptive
FaithfulnessLoyal, committedUnstable, easily swayed
GentlenessTact, humilityHarshness, selfishness
Self-controlDiscipline, restraintUncontrolled, impulsive

godly love vs. infatuation

Understanding the contrast between godly love and infatuation can guide us in our relationships. It reminds us to prioritize commitment, patience, and the development of the fruits of the Spirit. By doing so, we can cultivate healthy, flourishing relationships that honor God and serve the best interests of our partners.

Crushes Come and Go, but Love Never Fails

Crushes are a natural part of human experience, but they are also transient and temporary. What once seemed like an intense infatuation can eventually fade away, leaving only memories. However, true love stands the test of time, enduring through the highs and lows of relationships.

When a crush develops into a deeper connection, it requires commitment to sustain the bond. Love is not just a feeling; it is a daily choice to prioritize the needs and well-being of the other person. It goes beyond the fleeting emotions of a crush and builds a foundation of trust, loyalty, and mutual respect.

In any relationship, it is crucial to keep God as the focal point. Placing anything or anyone above God, even with good intentions, can lead to idolatry. Idolizing a romantic partner or the idea of love can distract us from our ultimate purpose of worshipping and obeying God. By keeping our focus on Him, we can ensure that our love remains pure and centered in His will.

God’s timing is also a vital aspect of relationships. It is important to trust in His perfect plan and not rush into commitments based solely on our desires. Ensuring that our love aligns with His timing allows for the proper growth, development, and foundation of a relationship.

Love in its truest form extends beyond romantic connections. It includes friendship, compassion, and selflessness. Building a strong foundation of friendship helps to establish trust, shared interests, and a deep understanding of one another. This friendship serves as a solid base upon which romantic love can flourish.

Overall, crushes may come and go, but love, when built on commitment, friendship, and God’s guidance, never fails. It is a reflection of God’s unconditional love for us and our ability to love others selflessly. By trusting in His timing, guarding against idolatry, and prioritizing friendship, we can navigate the complexities of love and relationships on a godly path.

Dating and Relationships According to the Bible

When it comes to dating and relationships, the Bible serves as a valuable guide. It provides us with biblical guidelines and wisdom that can help us navigate this important aspect of our lives. By seeking God’s guidance and involving Him in our decision-making process, we can align ourselves with His plan and purpose for our relationships.

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” This verse encourages us to rely on God’s wisdom and guidance, rather than relying solely on our own understanding.

Proverbs 16:9 further emphasizes the importance of seeking God’s direction in our relationships: “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” This verse reminds us that although we may have our own desires and plans, it is ultimately God who directs our paths and leads us according to His perfect plan.

While it’s natural to have our own desires and preferences in dating and relationships, it is crucial to seek God’s will above all else. This means surrendering our desires to Him and trusting that His plan is far greater than our own. By seeking His guidance through prayer and seeking wise counsel, we can make decisions that align with His purpose for our lives.

James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” This verse encourages us to seek wisdom from God, knowing that He is faithful to provide it to us when we ask. By seeking His wisdom, we can make wise choices in our relationships.

It’s important to note that God’s timing and plan may differ from our own desires. In Ecclesiastes 3:1, we read, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” This verse reminds us that God works according to His own timeline. Therefore, it’s essential to be patient and trust that His timing is perfect.

seeking God's guidance

In conclusion, when it comes to dating and relationships, the Bible provides us with valuable guidance. By seeking wisdom, involving God in our decision-making, and trusting in His plan and timing, we can navigate the complexities of dating and relationships according to biblical principles. Remember, seeking God’s guidance and wisdom is a lifelong journey, and He is always faithful to lead us in His perfect way.

Praying for Wisdom and Self-Control

When it comes to handling crushes and romantic feelings, prayer is an essential tool. Through prayer, we can seek wisdom, self-control, and guidance from God. By committing our emotions, thoughts, and decisions to Him, we invite His presence and guidance into our lives.

Praying for self-control over our emotions and thoughts is particularly important. Crushes can stir up intense feelings and desires, making it crucial to have self-control to avoid making impulsive decisions that may not align with God’s plan for us.

Ultimately, seeking God’s guidance and trusting Him to guard our minds and hearts can provide clarity and peace as we navigate these complex feelings. Prayer allows us to surrender our desires to God, acknowledging His sovereignty and seeking His will for our lives.

Furthermore, seeking God’s guidance through prayer can help us discern whether a romantic interest is in line with His plan. By bringing our crushes before God, we open ourselves to His wisdom and direction, enabling us to make choices that honor Him and align with His purpose for our lives.

In the midst of emotions and uncertainties, prayer acts as an anchor that keeps us grounded. It reminds us that God is with us and that we do not have to navigate these feelings alone. Through prayer, we invite God into our hearts and minds, allowing Him to shape and guide our desires.

Seek Wise and Godly Counsel

In the midst of navigating crushes and romantic feelings, it is crucial to seek wise and godly counsel. Trusted individuals who are older and wiser can provide valuable guidance, perspective, and accountability as you make decisions about your relationships. Mentors and parents are especially equipped to offer wisdom and advice that align with biblical principles.

When seeking counsel, it is important to find individuals who share your faith and values, as their guidance will be grounded in a biblical perspective. Their insights can help you evaluate whether a potential relationship is God-honoring and in line with your personal convictions.

“In a multitude of counselors, there is safety.” – Proverbs 11:14

Accountability plays a significant role in navigating romantic feelings. By sharing your thoughts and experiences with trusted individuals, you invite them to hold you accountable in your actions and help ensure that you remain on a righteous path.

Seeking advice from mentors and parents can provide you with a broader understanding of a situation and help you gain discernment. They can offer insights based on their own experiences and guide you in making decisions that will lead to healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Remember, seeking counsel does not mean surrendering your personal agency. Rather, it is an opportunity to gather wisdom and discernment from those who have walked the path before you. Ultimately, the decisions you make are yours, but seeking advice and counsel is a proactive step toward making informed choices.

Take a moment to reflect on the importance of seeking wise and godly counsel in your own life:

  1. Have you sought advice from mentors or parents in the past when faced with relationship decisions?
  2. How can you establish a system of accountability with trusted individuals?
  3. Who are the wise and godly individuals you can turn to for guidance in matters of the heart?

Seeking counsel may come in various forms, such as one-on-one conversations, group discussions, or even seeking professional help from counselors or therapists. The key is to surround yourself with individuals who can provide guidance and support as you pursue healthy and God-honoring relationships.

In the next section, we will explore the importance of considering the other person’s spiritual walk when evaluating a potential romantic interest.


Considering the Other Person’s Spiritual Walk

When it comes to building a lasting and fulfilling relationship, spiritual compatibility plays a crucial role. It is important to evaluate the faith, church involvement, and the overall life in Christ of the person you are interested in. By assessing these factors, you can gain valuable insights into their character, values, and alignment with God’s will.

Seeking a partner who shares your faith and commitment to Christ creates a solid foundation for a healthy and thriving relationship. It allows both partners to grow spiritually together, supporting and encouraging one another on their journey of faith.

Church involvement is another aspect to consider. It reflects a person’s dedication to community, worship, and service. A partner who actively participates in church activities and seeks to contribute to the body of Christ demonstrates a genuine desire to live out their faith in practical ways.

Furthermore, evaluating their life in Christ helps you understand how deeply they are rooted in their relationship with God. Do they prioritize prayer, Bible study, and seeking God’s will in their decisions? Do they exemplify the fruits of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control?

Remember: A relationship built on a shared faith and a commitment to live for Christ is more likely to weather the storms of life and bring true fulfillment.

Overcoming Temptation and Fleeing from Sin

Temptation is a common struggle that we all face, but it is crucial for us to resist and overcome it in order to maintain a faithful and godly approach to relationships. When it comes to crushes and romantic feelings, there are practical steps we can take to flee from sin and avoid compromising situations.

In order to flee from sin, it is important to:

  • Exercise self-control: Self-control is the key to resisting temptation. By disciplining our thoughts, actions, and desires, we can overcome the allure of sinful behaviors.
  • Take practical measures: Avoiding situations that may lead to sin is an important step in overcoming temptation. This may include setting boundaries, limiting time spent with the person of interest, and redirecting our focus to healthy and God-honoring activities.
  • Crucify sin: We can crucify sin by recognizing its harmful nature and choosing to turn away from it. This involves surrendering our desires to God and seeking His strength to resist temptation.
  • Confess and seek accountability: Confessing our struggles and sins to fellow believers is an essential part of the healing process. By seeking accountability, we invite others to support and challenge us on our journey toward purity.

By applying these principles, we can navigate the challenges of crushes and romantic attractions with wisdom and self-control. Let us remember to rely on God’s guidance and seek accountability in our pursuit of holy and fulfilling relationships.


After examining the topic of crushes and romantic feelings from a biblical perspective, it is clear that having a crush is not inherently sinful. However, it is important to exercise self-control and seek God’s guidance in handling these attractions to prevent them from turning into lustful and harmful behaviors.

Understanding the difference between godly love and infatuation is crucial in navigating relationships. Godly love is characterized by commitment, patience, and selflessness, whereas infatuation is driven by emotions, impatience, and personal desires. By prioritizing the well-being and character of the other person, we can avoid self-centeredness and harmful actions.

Seeking wisdom and guidance from trusted mentors and involving God in the decision-making process are important steps in making godly choices. Through prayer, we can ask for self-control over our emotions and thoughts, as well as clarity in discerning God’s will. By aligning ourselves with His principles and relying on His guidance, we can honor Him in our relationships.

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